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Randomopolis

I was in a convenience store paying for gas about a year ago and a guy came in crying because he ran over a squirrel. He looked like he was probably in his 40's and he was bawling like his best friend died. I had to gtfo, I was dying myself.
 
My wife told me she ran over 2 squirrels within 500 feet of each other. She claims she did it unintentionally. She says she was screaming and swerving. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me this.
Did you tell her that she probably wouldn’t have hit them if she wasn’t swerving?
 
My wife told me she ran over 2 squirrels within 500 feet of each other. She claims she did it unintentionally. She says she was screaming and swerving. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me this.

This proves once and for all that women never should've been allowed to drive.
 
My wife told me she ran over 2 squirrels within 500 feet of each other. She claims she did it unintentionally. She says she was screaming and swerving. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me this.

This proves once and for all that women never should've been allowed to drive.

This is false. We need them to be able to drive for when we drink too much or if we have to go on long, boring interstate trips.
 
My wife told me she ran over 2 squirrels within 500 feet of each other. She claims she did it unintentionally. She says she was screaming and swerving. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me this.

This proves once and for all that women never should've been allowed to drive.

This is false. We need them to be able to drive for when we drink too much or if we have to go on long, boring interstate trips.

Also useful to have them go out to fetch beer and pizza when we run out in the middle of watching football.
 
But soon, self-driving cars and VR porn will make women obsolete. I'm not sure what they'll do with themselves at that point, once their Special Purposes are gone.
 
Today I am wearing for the first time some new jeans that are like 1 or 2% spandex, and they are AMAZING. "Slim fit stretch" or some shit like that. I used to laugh at women when "jeggings" came out, but damn if these aren't the most comfortable jeans I've ever worn! My wife mocked me, saying this is a slippery slope. I guess she's concerned I'll be prancing around in yoga pants next. Maybe I will. I don't want to be missing out like I was with these man jeggings.

*Also* I can get fatter, but my size will stay the same. Brilliant.
 
Today I am wearing for the first time some new jeans that are like 1 or 2% spandex, and they are AMAZING. "Slim fit stretch" or some shit like that. I used to laugh at women when "jeggings" came out, but damn if these aren't the most comfortable jeans I've ever worn! My wife mocked me, saying this is a slippery slope. I guess she's concerned I'll be prancing around in yoga pants next. Maybe I will. I don't want to be missing out like I was with these man jeggings.

*Also* I can get fatter, but my size will stay the same. Brilliant.

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Today I am wearing for the first time some new jeans that are like 1 or 2% spandex, and they are AMAZING. "Slim fit stretch" or some shit like that. I used to laugh at women when "jeggings" came out, but damn if these aren't the most comfortable jeans I've ever worn! My wife mocked me, saying this is a slippery slope. I guess she's concerned I'll be prancing around in yoga pants next. Maybe I will. I don't want to be missing out like I was with these man jeggings.

*Also* I can get fatter, but my size will stay the same. Brilliant.
Now we just need to peel that Member's Only jacket off of you...
 

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