I'm a wreck

[uncy12]

Well I went off to college 2 weeks ago and am back now. I struggled with the transition, and being 5 1/2 hours away. I made some friends but sort of freaked out and left. I learned within the 2 weeks that my dog that I had since first grade died, my grandpa was diagnosed as probably not having much time left, and I learned my uncle has cancer also. I just couldn't function academically (socially it was good) and withdrew for the semester. I just don't know what to do with my life now. I'm a wreck over everything that has happened lately and most of my solid friend core is away having the time of their lives. The stress got to me, and everything really feels hopeless right now.

 

[bfactor]

Handle your business and go back in the spring. I had two "leaves" from Duke and managed to make it through. Hope you can work it out.

 

[SeanMayTriedToEatMe]

Yeah just take a mulligan and restart college when ready. It will have zero impact on your future employment prospects, which you shouldn't even be thinking about right now anyway. Won't even show up on your résumé.

 

[Rollins]

You have to go back, but take the time to be in a good state of mind when you do.

 

[Topher]

When I was a freshman, I got into all sorts of drug circles and gambling issues. My parents let me come home and reflect and get back on my feet. Turned out to be one of the formative ways to shape me into the person I am today. Sometimes we need to see hell to know why it's worth chasing heaven.

This will be a tough time for you but you are doing yourself a disservice if you don't learn, grow, and move on after you've emotionally healed yourself.

No one will give a shit if you take some time to adjust, I promise. My wife had to take a year off from school because of several traumatic deaths in her family but because of it, we got to spend an extra year together in college and it shaped our relationship for the better. Some good will come of this, just be accepting of it when it does come.

 

[DukeNukem05]

You have to take leaves of absence at least 3 times if you want to become bfactor2.0.

 

[ZackM]

I took 6.5 years to graduate.

 

[CK86]

A couple suggestions I have: try to find a job that involves a hobby of yours so you can have some fun while earning some money. Wait until you know what you want to do with your life rather than spending time in college and realizing you have no clue what you want to do and mountains of debt to show for it. Pay with cash if you can and you'll be so much happier 5-10 years from now just because of that. Don't go to school just to go and take your time. Stress sucks but it'll be infinitely worse if you let it consume you. Spend time with your relatives and enjoy it.

 

[rome8180]

It seems like this entire board took leaves of absence. Maybe that's the thing that unites us. I took 10 years to finish school, going half time much of the time so that I could work, but also traveling around aimlessly for three years in the middle.

 

[physicsfactor]

I did not take any time off through my schooling, and it nearly destroyed me. Looking back, I would have been so much more stable had I taken time between undergrad and grad school. My time at Duke was easily the worst of my life.

uncy, I think you are doing the right thing. No one expects you to have it all figured out at 18 years old, so don't worry about that. Try to find something you enjoy that will help get your mind off the serious stuff - a hobby that is financially feasible of course. Relax, spend time with your family, and you'll find your direction and be better for it.

 

[Topher]

A hobby is a great therapeutic method to get over what is stressing you out. I played like three hours of basketball every day and swam for another hour when I was "detoxing"

Cleared my mind so well.

 

[rome8180]

Exercise is great for improving your mental state in general.

 

[DukeNukem05]

I did not take any time off through my schooling, and it nearly destroyed me. Looking back, I would have been so much more stable had I taken time between undergrad and grad school. My time at Duke was easily the worst of my life.

uncy, I think you are doing the right thing. No one expects you to have it all figured out at 18 years old, so don't worry about that. Try to find something you enjoy that will help get your mind off the serious stuff - a hobby that is financially feasible of course. Relax, spend time with your family, and you'll find your direction and be better for it.

Be sure to sing lots of Kumbaya, too.

 

[dkst0426]

Hate that you're going through all that at the same time. Take the time you need - school is always going to be there when you're ready to go back.

 

[uncy12]

I'm gonna get through this, it just sucks. A month ago, I was looking forward to college, and was having a great summer.Most of my solid friend core is gone, and now I feel like I just hit rock bottom.

 

[dkst0426]

I never really truly experienced homesickness until my first week on this side of the world. You'll meet new friends, it's so much easier to keep in touch with old friends nowadays, and things will look up once you get into a routine.

But you've got other external stuff going on as well right now. Take time to let that all sort out, and to give you a chance to recharge as well.

 

[rome8180]

I was fortunate in my college experience to be a little bit older and to live with good friends. If I had been eighteen and in a dorm for the first time, I don't know how long I would have lasted.

Even so, I can't say that I used my time wisely at first. It wasn't until I went back to school at 24 that I really knew how to handle myself.

 

[dkst0426]

There's definitely something to be said for taking a break. I had 10 months between graduating high school (we follow the calendar year back home, not the August-June one here) and starting college, and I was well-rested and stress-free going in, even though there was that residual homesickness after 30 hours of flight time.

I took 7 years between graduating and starting on my Master's. Now THAT was difficult to motivate myself to get back into the academic frame of mind once more.

 

[SeanMayTriedToEatMe]

College should be the best time of your life minus a few days before each midterm and a couple weeks before finals. The rest of the time is not really for studying or learning, just building a social network and figuring out what you enjoy in life or at least could bear to do if it paid enough money.

 

[SeanMayTriedToEatMe]

This should probably become our communal "I'm Seriously Depressed About..." thread, while Airing of Grievances continues to be more of a first world problems type of thread. Except when thewiseben posts stuff like "Pieces of shrapnel just grazed my head."