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Randomopolis

Some moron hit the power box at my apartment so have limited power. Thankfully it's not a billion degrees outside but god I wish I could curse at the jackass who did it. Probably fucking around on their phone and not paying attention while speeding through our complex.
 
I have exactly 0 decorations in my house, so I'd probably notice pretty quickly.
 
2


Step up your pullout game

Nope, you don't want an indoor JIZZ-FEST. This is a sex upgrade. Go crazy or just relax, you're covered. Before you feel the rush to gush, you pull-out, peel it off, finishing as you wish. Your wingman helped you score a perfect 10.

  • "Here honey, can I take that off for you? Pleeeease?"
  • IF she sees a tear in your eye, let her believe it's true love.
 
Highly recommend Saturdays at Saxapahaw. Good music. Small farmers' market. Haw River Farmhouse Ales and Saxapahaw General Store 1/10 mile away.
 
Getting a massage on Tuesday, cannot wait. This week has been crazy stressful.
 
Just checked in to Isle of Palms. We come down every year, but picked this week because of the eclipse. Better not be cloudy.
 
I love it down here, but traffic getting out of hand.

They're expecting over a million people incoming this weekend.
 
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